How to Be A Good Mentor to Graduate Students
It's a Subtle Art
I never thought I was particularly good at mentoring. I always imagined that a good mentor was a sort of guru who was all smiles and magic words. That certainly wasn’t me. Despite this self-image, I’ve actually gotten a few awards for mentorship. I got one from my own department, another from the AAADS department at IU, and I’ve been on various mentoring programs and committees over the year. Somebody thinks I’m good at this.
Here, I’ll give you a few words about the difference between good and bad mentoring:
This is the most important: accessibility and responsiveness. A lot of people say they want to help out, but in practice, they aren’t really open. They don’t respond to emails, and they don’t pick up the phone. You don’t have to be open 24 hours a day, but you need to put in some time. It’s better to decline the opportunity to mentor than to say you’ll do it and bail.
Assess, rather than criticize: One of the most demoralizing things you can do to a person struggling for success is say, “you can’t do it.” This might be true, but there are better ways to communicate that. You should assess the person’s current position and show them what they need to do. Say, “if you want to achieve this goal, you need to do the following. Do you have the time and effort needed to do this?” For example, in advising graduate students, I never say, “you can’t be a research university professor.” Instead, I assess their current state and tell them what they need. “Look, to have a real shot at a research university position, you need to publish in some competitive journals. You will need to do that. It’s hard, but possible and it requires a lot of talent, work, and luck.” Then, they can decide if that path is something they are willing to do. The deep issue is that a mentor isn’t the ultimate arbiter of whether another person can do something. Mentors can also be wrong. Rather, they have the experience to know if you are close, or on the right path. The mentee needs to then reflect on whether it is possible.
Realism: Academia is a very competitive business and there is no need to exaggerate that. I have found that “scared straight” mentoring is not the most effective. Instead, identify what is relatively easy and what is hard. For example, when I consult with junior faculty, I like to emphasize that most tenure cases are approved but the hard part is getting that first job or getting published in competitive journals. By mellowing out, you can calm nerves and help people focus their energy on tasks that are actually hard. Scare tactics are counter productive.
Don’t substitute your own goals: A common mistake for a mentor is to assume the mentee wants exactly what they want. For example, I don’t assume that all graduate students want research department jobs like mine. Instead, think of mentoring as a sort of discovery process. I want my mentees to be exposed to my line of work and I give them my counsel. Then, they can see if staying on a path makes sense for them. If you assume that their path is your path, time is wasted and feelings are hurt.
Those are my big take home points. Tell me about your mentoring experiences.
Image Credit: dimitrisvetsikas1969
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